How to make a dragon diet (oneshot)
by vala411
Summary: Things go a bit wrong when Hiccup has to leave Toothless on Berk. (Requested by marine1324)


**AN: This was a request from 'marine1324' and I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. XD**

 **How to make a dragon diet**

'This... is Berk. The best kept secret this side of, well, anywhere.' Hiccup mused as he exited the Great Hall with Astrid, he smiled when he saw all the dragons and Vikings enjoying themselves. Their feet crunched against the snow that had fallen for the last four days. Baby dragons happily played in the huge piles of snow that had settled, even the Nadders that normally preferred to preen could be seen playing with their Vikings in the cold weather.

"So Hiccup what are you going to do?" Astrid asked as they started heading back to Hiccup's house. "As Chief, you will have to attend these meetings."

"I'd rather not appear on dragonback." He mused. "Some of the tribes still haven't gotten used to them. I had been thinking of landing in the forest clearing near the meeting spot and leaving Toothless with Sleuther."

"Had been?" Astrid cocked her head slightly.

"Remember the last time Toothless was left alone with Sleuther?" Hiccup mumbled. The passed a grumpy-looking Hookfang with whom some of the babies were playing. "Mala and Dagur's first anniversary." He added as clarification.

Astrid lifted a brow. "The one where Dagur and you were found in a cave with torn pants and covered in something that definitely wasn't mud?" She asked. "I don't believe you ever told us what actually happened that day."

"Eh….. Let's just say it's not a very good idea to leave Toothless and Sleuther to their own devices." Hiccup mumbled, scratching the back of his head, as he tried to think of something to change the subject. "It's a two week trip, I was thinking of asking mom to watch Toothless."

"Well if Toothless is staying then I'm going with you." Astrid declared.

"What? Why?" Hiccup asked, stopping and turning to face his fiance.

"Let's just say it's also not a good thing to leave you and Dagur to your own devices." She huffed.

"Are you still mad about the you-know-what?" Hiccup asked as Astrid's eye twitched. "I thought we were never going to bring up the you-know-what again." Astrid still eyed him as she crossed her arms. "And just for the record, it was the twins who gave Dagur the idea for the you-know-what."

"Either way you still owe me a new skirt!" Astrid mumbled while shooting Hiccup a glare.

"Alright… Alright. I'll leave the village in Mom and Gobber's hands. We can even find some traders at the port when we arrive to get you a new skirt and whatever else you need."

"You're the best babe!" Astrid laughed and gave Hiccup a peck on the cheeks. "I'll go pack my weapons!" she said before waving a quick goodbye and hurrying to her house that was nearby. Hiccup just let out a laugh before going to talk to his mother about watching Toothless.

It was two days later when they were set to depart. Toothless, however, was blocking the door so that Hiccup couldn't leave. "Oh come on bud!" Hiccup exclaimed as Toothless let out a whine that was supposed to make him look cute. His mother was seated at the table trying not to laugh as the Nightfury gave Hiccup pleading eyes. "I'll be back before you know it." Hiccup assured as he gave Toothless a good scratch. Toothless let out another whine and then turned his head to the fishbasket in the corner.

"I see how it is." Hiccup chuckled. "You want me to bribe you?" Toothless' tongue rolled out as the dragon bobbed its head. "I don't think so bud." Hiccup then turned to his mother who was still watching in amusement as Toothless slumped down in resignation. "Mom remember, Toothless is on a strict diet. One cod a day between his usual fish. He tends to overindulge."

"Yes sweety." Valka said as she started walking with Hiccup to the harbor. Toothless was walking behind them and he would occasionally jump in the snow banks for fun. "And you need to go easy on the lamb chops. He likes to steal from plates." Hiccup warned as he shot the Nightfury a look. Toothless let out an innocent warble.

"Honey, you told me this yesterday."

"Mom, Toothless can be very persuasive!" Hiccup warned. "It's only because I lived with him for years that I'm immune to it." At this the dragon shot Hiccup an affronted look.

"Hiccup, everything will be alright. Besides don't you have a meeting with the Chiefs to worry about?" Valka asked. "And Astrid told me that you're finally getting her a new skirt after the you-know-what. You might want to make sure it has fewer spikes since she likes sitting in your lap a lot."

"MOM!" Hiccup shouted in embarrassment. His cheeks were stained pink and he whispered "Why is everyone bringing up the you-know-what again?"

"Oh hush honey. Toothless will be well cared for." She assured and then waved to Astrid who also had a bag slung over her shoulder while carrying her favorite axe. They could see a spear peeking out of the bag but no one commented on it.

"Oh and mom, please keep Toothless away from any form of cheese!" Hiccup said as he went to join Astrid on the boat. Valka waved them off as Toothless sat beside her. She turned to the Nightfury once the ship had left the harbor.

"So….. what shall we do today?" She asked Toothless who was giving her a curious stare.

The two weeks that passed were quite a blur of activity. When Hiccup and Astrid finally returned they were worn out. Hiccup leaned on the side of the boat as he watched his fiance sharpen her spear. "I still can't believe that you chased two merchants with that thing."

"They were trying to rip me off babe." Astrid hummed. "And in the end I did get quite a good deal on some furs."

"That's because you threatened to gut them if they tried to hike the price."

"What can you say, I drive a hard bargain." Astrid laughed as Hiccup gave her a horrified look. "And I wasn't so bad. You should see Ruffnut and Mala when those two go shopping."

"I'd rather not." Hiccup told her as they got off the ship that had now docked in Berk's harbor.

"So, do you think Toothless will be surprised?" Astrid asked as she saw what Hiccup had caught.

"I'm sure he will." Hiccup hefted the giant fish that was nearly two thirds his size out of the boat. "We don't come across these a lot."

"I'm going to spend some time with Stormfly so I'll see you later babe." Astrid said as she gave Hiccup a kiss before departing.

Hiccup was huffing when he finally made it to his house. The large fish slung over his shoulder. "Mom, Toothless!" Hiccup called as he walked inside. "I'm back-ACK!" Hiccup didn't get to finish as he was assaulted by a large black blob of scales.

"Toothless!" Hiccup said between licks. "You know that doesn't wash out!" When Toothless finally got off of him and Hiccup could breathe again did he notice the difference. "Toothless you're fat!" Hiccup exclaimed as he noticed the very big, very wobbling Nightfury.

Toothless cocked his head and eyed the fish Hiccup bought. "No bud!" Hiccup quickly put the fish out of reach and turned back to his dragon. "Why are you so fat?!" He gestured to Toothless' body but the Nightfury merely gave him a playful stare.

"MOM!" Hiccup called and he heard Valka come down the stairs. She was carrying a hammer and some nails.

"Honey you're home!" She exclaimed and went to hug Hiccup.

"Mom what were you doing?"

"Oh nothing sweety." Valka gave a nervous chuckle. "Just… repairing the hole in the roof above your room."

"You're doing what?!"

"Toothless might have gotten a tad big." Valka chuckled.

"I can see that mom." Hiccup mumbled as Toothless rolled around on the floor, the floorboards creaking heavily with his weight. "I don't even think that he'll fit through the door anymore." Toothless was ignoring them and instead was wiggling on the floor like a slug or a worm. 'Definitely a worm impression.' Hiccup's mind supplied as he watched the chubby Nightfury.

"Mom is Toothless high?" He asked as his mom bit her lip.

"Well he might have had a wheel of cheese." She mumbled. "I swear I did not let him have any these two weeks! He took it when I wasn't looking."

"Oh Thor, he's going to be like this for at least a day." Hiccup sighed as he knew what cheese did to the dragon. "But that still doesn't explain how he got so fat."

"Well….." His mother trailed off before shouting "I just couldn't resist those charming and cute green eyes of him!"

Hiccup facepalmed before glaring at Toothless who was looking off into the distance with a far off look. "I resisted at first!" Valka went on to explain "But can one truly resist those orbs of pure cuteness! He kept begging for fish and Gobber kept feeding him wild boar meat since you said no lamb chops!"

"I guess we're going to need professional help for this." Hiccup thought. "I doubt that even his saddle will still fit."

"Don't worry. I have a solution." Valka exclaimed. "I called the twins for help."

"The twins?" Hiccup asked. "What scheme have they cooked up now?"

"Ruffnut told me they were building a device called 'The run in place machine of awesomeness'.

"Say what now?" Hiccup asked perplexed.

"I think Tuffnut wanted to call it a treadmill." His mother mused.

"Well either way I'm putting Toothless on a strict diet." Hiccup told Valka. At the word diet the Nightfury's earplates shot up and it quickly scrambled off the floor and up the stairs, breaking a stair step under his weight. "What the?!" Hiccup asked shocked as both heard scrambling on the floor above and not so long after the distinct crack of wood.

"He must have fallen through the hole I patched up." Valka groaned. "I'll get more wood from Sven, you go fetch the twins."

 **-THE END-**

 **AN2: P.S. How would you all feel if I wrote a Harry Potter story?**


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